OBS-BASE-300-RND  |  Material: PLA / PETG  |  Colour: Black  |  FDM 3D Printing

THE 300 INCIDENT · FILE 300-R

300mm ROUND BASE

A large-format display & diorama base. Also, a disclosure.

filed by the department that maintains land has no corners

[ INCIDENT REPORT ]

I. THE BRIEF

We were asked for a bigger base. We asked how big. The reply never came. In the absence of a stated limit, we concluded there wasn’t one, and proceeded on that understanding. This understanding has since been described, in the review, as “the root cause.” We dispute the tone.

II. THE ESCALATION

Progress was logged in millimetres, then in “surely that’s enough now,” then in a silence we chose not to break. A colleague raised a formal concern at 200mm. It was minuted. Work continued. At 260mm the same colleague raised the same concern, louder, and was thanked for their input. It was minuted again. The colleague has asked us to note, here, that they were right. We have noted it. We have not agreed to anything further.

III. PRIOR VERSIONS

Earlier attempts existed. A 250, and a 275. The 250 was destroyed in accordance with a policy we wrote immediately afterward, specifically to establish that its destruction had been correct. The 275 is a harder subject. It was signed out one evening and never signed back in. We have chosen to record it as destroyed, because the alternative is that it is still somewhere, and we are not equipped to hold that thought during working hours. No images survive of either. This too was policy — drafted, as ever, after the fact.

IV. THE NUMBER

At 300mm the printer stopped of its own accord. We never established why. It had power. It had filament. It simply declined to continue, and we elected to read this as the design being finished. No one has since produced an argument strong enough to reopen the matter, and the printer has not spoken on the subject since.

[ THE PART WE CAN CONFIRM ]

That is the product. We looked for the rest of it. There is no rest of it.

V. THE SCHISM

Then came the question that ended working relationships: does land have corners? We are the department that says no. Land is a horizon. You do not walk to the edge of a field and drop off it — the ground curves gently away, as all serious ground does. We measured to the rim to be certain. There is no rim. We consider this closed.

Our former colleagues disagree. They hold that ground has edges, and that those edges should be paved. We no longer name them. Their version of this base is filed under 300mm Square. You may read it. We would prefer you didn’t. We are not, however, your supervisor.

VI. ATTEMPTS TO ESTABLISH PURPOSE

Once the object existed, the question of what it was for became urgent, having gone unasked at every prior stage. A working group was formed. Its findings, reproduced here without comment, were as follows:

Forty models. One base. One activation. No rulebook covers this scenario. Ours included. We checked ours specifically, then dissolved the working group before it could reach any further conclusions.

VII. THE MATTER OF THE BOX

Shipping was raised late, as everything here was. The object does not fit in the box. It does not fit in any box we own. It ships flat, which is the single reasonable decision it makes, and it arrives as a circle of ground with no packaging large enough to have dignity. It won’t fit in the box. That’s the point. They told us it couldn’t be done. They were correct. We did it anyway.

[ CHOOSE YOUR FINISH ]

[ WHAT’S IN THE BOX ]

1 × 300mm round base, in your chosen finish. That is the entire contents. There is, as established, nothing else.

[ THE RECKONING ]

testimonials, unverified

[ THERE IS ANOTHER ONE ]

A rival department believes ground has corners. They made a square. We do not speak to them. Their account is filed under OBS 300mm Square Base — search it in our shop, if you must. Pick a side.

[ DISPATCH ]

🚚 Same-day dispatch on orders placed before 3 PM.

📦 Tracked service. Ships flat, from Derby, UK.

✅ 30-day returns. It is a large base; we understand if you need a moment.